remember...

my sister took this picture. i love it :]

it reminds me of god. i can imagine his massive wings holding me when im troubled, blocking the rain, the hail...taking all of the cold and blister from my back. covering me from all harm...taking my stripes. signing my pink slips as his own.

2/14/08: dont be afraid of this kali. i have plans to prosper you. i have given you lemons. what are you going to do with them? i have chosen you. i have mounted you up on wings...i have made you a bird. experience pure air kali. pure eyes, pure protection...you are built for flight. the windier it gets, the higher you fly...you are effortless. kali, you cannot win an argument with me... :] i know you too well.

...when we grow tired or discouraged in life, we always have a choice. we can either become depressed and unhappy or we can rest in god and wait for him to make his way clear. if we wait for god, as isaiah urges, we will find that god is the source of renewed power and strength. his strength becomes ours as we learn to wait on him... --The rock bible, on "waiting."

but those who wait on the lord will find new strength. they will fly high on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint. - isaiah 40:31

epiphanal randomness

i had a conversation last night...it was a pretty good one i guess. meant a lot to me..
i didn't ask anyone to post this here, but i will give Aaron Wagner credit for his thoughts.

Aaron- I've learned something.
me- whats that?
Aaron- if you are a cynic, you will find something to be cynical about in everything. if you are optimistic you will find the joy in everything. in life you will seek out what you are in everything...who you are and what you're about is what you will find...
me- right now it feels like being optimistic will hurt. but being a cynic hurts already...i don't ever know what to be... so i go straight to the one that i feel wont hurt as much.
Aaron- so that makes you unsure.
me- whats does?
Aaron- your views
me- being unsure makes me unsure...
Aaron- yes...
me- not having answers makes me unsure... i get frustrated and more angry... and that's where doubt comes from
Aaron- so you find reasons to be fearful
me- it goes full circle. I'm tired of being scared. I'm trying to escape that
Aaron- ya...i know...
me- everything is so complicated... i wanna be able to say that one day everything will make sense. that's the root of everything right now... all feelings. just to be able to say that something makes sense would mean so much.
Aaron- i think it gets worse :)
me- that was so oxymoronic... haha [i think it gets worse...with a smile] haha
Aaron- did you know that the word spiritual doesn't exist in Hebrew?
me- no...i don't speak Hebrew. ha.
Aaron- i think that's brilliant. do you know what that means then?!?!
me- what?!
Aaron- it means that in Jesus' time and in his life if someone would've asked "hey man, how's your spiritual life?" he would've had no clue what they were talking about! :) :) cuz to say that some parts of life are spiritual and some aren't is incorrect!!! everything is spiritual!!! the issue isn't whether you're spiritual or not it's whether your eyes are open to it. it's the make up to being a human being. relationships, money, words, everything...every act is a spiritual act and the first Christians latched on to that idea when they said that in word and deed we need to serve Christ... everything has eternal ramifications...

history channel.

On neptune, wind speeds can get up to 1000mph. I was watching the history channel this morning. Various scientists were talking about the history of the greatest storms in the UNIVERSE...literally. They talked about these storms in relation to catastrophes here on earth. They spoke of hurricanes twice the size of earth, battery acid rain, methane rain, storms that are lasting through centuries. The show prior to this talk of the universal storms, scientists were talking about meteors hitting the earth. They had found miraculous evidence of impact meteors, which are meteors that turn to gas before they hit the earths surface, but because of great forces and speeds, the gases actually hit the earth leaving a huge impression many times the size of the actual meteor. Some scientists believe that these meteors can not only destroy the earth and life on it, but also bring new life.

i sat on my bed in awe of not only what they were saying, but the picture on my tv screen. i was watching the history channel in HD, but thats beside the point. Everything about the earth is so huge and overwhelming!! we have no control over anything that happens, and all we can do if there is a meteor coming straight for us, is pray that our computers detect it intime for our defensive mechanism to shoot at it to knock it off its course.

Scientists used to believe that higher wind speeds resulted from the more percentage of sunlight a planet was getting. but, this case was proven wrong by neptune, which gets only 1% of the sunlight that earth does. Neptune is freezing cold, dark with amazing wind speeds, and terrifying storms. But it is one of the most beautiful planets i saw on my HD tv screen.

And out of my philisophical mindset came a metaphor for life from this planet called neptune. :]

There are winds, where its dark OR light, but because of the friction we experience, the winds are reduced. friction is good.

God created the earth with trees and mountains that reduce the speed of winds. He placed this beauty all around us which is evidence of gods existence and majesty through his creation alone. [paul argues this in romans]

Furthermore, paul suggests that there is a sense of moral right and wrong, good and evil, in every person, and that this sense is part of the image of god stamped onto our hearts and minds. God created us, and he reveals himself to us through nature and through our moral conscience, yet many of us still refuse to acknowledge or obey him as god. therefore, paul says, those who do so are without excuse. Here is where minds are dark, and most confused.

It is in the sun that we see clearly. In the dark things will not grow that block the winds from gaining speed around. In the sun, There may be friction, but its that very friction that slows the winds and brings new life. It is most beautiful the calm after the storm.