epiphanal randomness

i had a conversation last night...it was a pretty good one i guess. meant a lot to me..
i didn't ask anyone to post this here, but i will give Aaron Wagner credit for his thoughts.

Aaron- I've learned something.
me- whats that?
Aaron- if you are a cynic, you will find something to be cynical about in everything. if you are optimistic you will find the joy in everything. in life you will seek out what you are in everything...who you are and what you're about is what you will find...
me- right now it feels like being optimistic will hurt. but being a cynic hurts already...i don't ever know what to be... so i go straight to the one that i feel wont hurt as much.
Aaron- so that makes you unsure.
me- whats does?
Aaron- your views
me- being unsure makes me unsure...
Aaron- yes...
me- not having answers makes me unsure... i get frustrated and more angry... and that's where doubt comes from
Aaron- so you find reasons to be fearful
me- it goes full circle. I'm tired of being scared. I'm trying to escape that
Aaron- ya...i know...
me- everything is so complicated... i wanna be able to say that one day everything will make sense. that's the root of everything right now... all feelings. just to be able to say that something makes sense would mean so much.
Aaron- i think it gets worse :)
me- that was so oxymoronic... haha [i think it gets worse...with a smile] haha
Aaron- did you know that the word spiritual doesn't exist in Hebrew?
me- no...i don't speak Hebrew. ha.
Aaron- i think that's brilliant. do you know what that means then?!?!
me- what?!
Aaron- it means that in Jesus' time and in his life if someone would've asked "hey man, how's your spiritual life?" he would've had no clue what they were talking about! :) :) cuz to say that some parts of life are spiritual and some aren't is incorrect!!! everything is spiritual!!! the issue isn't whether you're spiritual or not it's whether your eyes are open to it. it's the make up to being a human being. relationships, money, words, everything...every act is a spiritual act and the first Christians latched on to that idea when they said that in word and deed we need to serve Christ... everything has eternal ramifications...