6/10/08: god gave me a vision. it was of the love that he had for all of his children. almost frustratingly unexplainable. "my love is like a river." he said. "what do rivers do kali?" "they flow," i replied. "yes, and they wash away the old, and shift the sand," he told me. And like the greatest epiphany of my life i was overwhelmed by his love. I had been told so many times that god's love is like a river, a stream, his "love water" if you will. But, it never really dawned on me just what that meant. i always imagined his love in colors, beautiful colors that float like the screensaver on my computer, pooring into the hearts of people. touching them in a way that only he could, making them burst from the inside and spill out from them. it might be hard for you to picture, but its even harder for me to type here what has been going through my mind of this vision of love i have had all along. well, this time i got the same vision, only it was flowing out from the broken heart, gushing actually, and flowing into the hearts and over the heads of people who are hurting. It was the most beautiful sight. And as each person ignited with this colorful water, their arms would spread, and they would reach and touch two other people. I just sat there watching all of this happen. I got so excited i had to tell someone. i prayed more with emily shook [my youth mommy] and some other girls in slt. we all prayed for this love water to seep into the seeds planted and grow them into flowers. we got visions of dams bursting and the water destroying all of the past and bring new life. god is amazing
6/21/08: its 3:10 in the morning. i was watching a program on tv, where big strong men who are oddly sensative, and sweaty, with the power to break through ten slabs of concrete talk about jesus and his amazing power. one man in particular told a story of a boy in the sixth grade with down syndrome. it was nearly easter and the teacher asked the children to go outside and find something that represented life and place it in a plastic easter egg. most set off to find bullfrogs, butterflies, worms, four leaf clovers...
but the boy sat there puzzled. and as the other children were laughing and pointing at how "not smart" he was, they all eventually filled their eggs and set them on the teachers desk. later that day the teacher began to open up the eggs. the children laughed as their creatures suprised the teacher, falling into her lap. but there was one egg with a much greater suprise inside. nothing. "whos egg is this?" she asked. and in the back of the room the boy raised his hand, as the children mocked him in his suspected stupidity. "why didnt you fill your egg?" the teacher asked. "but i did," the boy replied. "the tomb was empty."
The empty tomb was a representation of life. It indicated that Jesus had risen from the dead! It's a miracle that's even better than the return of life in spring
6/25/08: its just you and me
and i cant believe how hard
it is saying goodbye,
pictures of us just arent enough
to capture the time of our lives
its all changing everything feels
like its slipping away
dont let go hold all the memories inside
dont let go keep every second alive
just close your eyes ill be right by your side
and youll know your never alone
just hold on and dont let go
its not the end of the line
the tears on my face are dying to say
that ill never leave you behind
dont let go hold all the memories inside
dont let go keep every second alive
just close your eyes ill be right by your side
and youll know your never alone
just hold on and dont let go
hold on to know that your my best friend
youve always been there
hold on to know that when the road starts to bend
ill always be there
dont let go hold all the memories inside
dont let go keep every second alive
just close your eyes ill be right by your side
and youll know your never alone
just hold on and dont let go
please dont let go.
--joy williams.
7/21/08: desperation was AMAZING! and god is AWESOME! i love him with my life! i will never be the same. david perkins had a vision of a generation living completely SOUL-D out, and desperate for christ. Desperate for a revival and revolution.
We just happen to live in the most perverted and sinful generations, and it will probably only get worse.I'm so tired of living with secrets and not giving every moment of my life to the one who gave everything about his...to me. My impurities, my sins, and taking away my authority over anything i will have to overcome. Im ready now. i want to share my life.
8/19/08: i dont have much time...and i mean that in the most literal way because the boys are getting antsy and its almost lunchtime. i've realized something...
i'm not sure what it is yet...but its something huge. this is something that i cant even put into words or writing. its odd for me not to be able to write down what i feel. well...since i have been here i've come upon the meaning of love. what it is anymore. i've gone so deep into it that nothing makes sense anymore and i'm left here just sitting in awe of it all. my mouth dry and open wide in shock. thats all i can say right now...thats all i can type. but something...something huge has been occuring all around us, and i've only begun to recognize its presence. its constant. i've forgotten who i am...and its a good thing
8/20/08: christ said that our strength becomes his as we wait on him. i'm waiting for words.
8/21/08: i can grow out my hair. i can brush my teeth until my gums are raw and i can change my shoes two hundred times until i finally decide that no matter what i do i still look like...me. and thats when i look at myself in shame, accusing my maker of making something intolerably ugly. what is it that tells me i must become someone different to meet your approval? i need to be me. and thats good enough. i can find it
Jan 21, 2009
2/5/08: "leaders do not seek out followers, they attract them. What attracts people to you is your passion, the very people that will help you on your journey will do so because you're passionate about your vision, and your vision comes to you when you understand your purpose."-anonymous
2/14/08: dont be afraid of this kali. i have plans to prosper you. i have given you lemons. what are you going to do with them? i have chosen you. i have mounted you up on wings...i have made you a bird. experience pure air kali. pure eyes, pure protection...you are built for flight. the windier it gets, the higher you fly...you are effortless. kali, you cannot win an argument with me... :] i know you too well
2/18/08: "We aren't necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will be." -CS Lewis"
i will not doubt anymore. i love you i love you i love you forever. and this will echo for all eternity.
2/27/08: 1 timothy 4:12 says...
dont let anyone think less of you because you are young. be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. do not neglect the spiritual gift you received through the prophecies spoken to you when the elders of the church laid their hands on you. give your complete attention to these matters. throw yourself into your tasks so that everyone will see your progress. keep a close watch on yourself and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right, and god will save you and those who hear you.
god, this life is my sacrifice to you. this is my echo...
for all that you are
for all eternity
2/28/08: Sanctus Real--after today
After today I'll get me out of this place
Into the world so I can set a new pace
Seems I'm on my own from here
Gotta face so many fears
Won't You lay me in Your hands of grace
I've got a funny feeling that I'm gonna go away
Gonna face my future, gonna try to make the grade
I've got a ways to go from here and
Vision doesn't seem so clear but
Praise God He's got a plan and
Understanding isn't my place
After today I'm gonna come face to face
With a new world who knows I'm feeling this way
I've got a ways to go from here
I'm gonna overcome these fears but
Still I'm gonna need Your hands of grace
I'll be a bigger man for, a bigger man for today.
I'll pray a bigger prayer...
I'll dream a bigger dream...
4/2/08: "When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely
opening your hands to receive something better.
'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you." -my little sister
5/6/08: we reap what we sow. "but those who live to please the spirit will harvest everlasting life from the spirit. so dont get tired of doing what is good. dont get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. whenever we have the opportunity we should do good to everyone, especially to our christian brothers and sisters." -Galatians 6:8-11
5/7/08: im gonna jump. right into his arms. trust: when the fear of being dropped doesnt keep you from jumping
5/11/08: cause what i feel inside
i dont want to hide
it's you that got to me
its what i want to sing
cause i've got a dream for us
running through my mind
sitting on the beach
looking at the sea
and we're old and tired
and time has made us smile
as we go on counting things
people in the breeze
we're not the only ones
there's hundreds on the shore
looking at the sea
but it's just you and me
if the day never comes
i sink beneath the tide
will you still be with me
or disappear?
[a dream for us - the appleseed cast]
5/12/08: i dont want just anyone. just someone.i want THE one. the only one. im tired of seeing them hurt. and taking the bait again and again...over and over. be our guide, our tutor. our mentor, teacher, father... where do we run next?
5/12/08..: thankyou steven lichtenwalter,
A Song For Christine:
I resisted coming here, to open the harbors that guard my heart (Jeremiah 23:24). Abide with me, fast falls the even tide. This darkness deepens, Lord with me abide. And what does not flow freely from You? Am I convicted of what I say? Forgive me of this pride that knows Your redemption yet shamelessly walks away. And now my life ebbs away. Night pierces my bones, and these gnawing pains never rest. And how I long for that day (when I will return to ashes and dust)(Job 30:17-19). If my steps turn from the path, or if my heart has been led by my eyes, or if my hands have been defiled, then may others reap what I have sown (Job 31:7-8). Better that I dwell in the house of the Lord who upholds all those who fall than reap this harvest of a life waged in the flesh. And what do I gain but the exchange of the truth for a lie? And a heart conditioned not to feel, callused by the nature of my pride? And now my life ebbs away
5/18/08: i dont wanna fall away from you.
i need you more than anything, ever. its you that picks me up when i've fallen down. you dare me to dream again. you capture me in your heart, and in your love...you taught me to love again. you taught me what its like to be captivated in love and you brought me out of the dark.
i cannot do this alone....
6/5/08: this week has been tough. i've been strangling myself sick with anger. im starting to learn what it feels like to lead with my heart and not my mind. for so long i have been to afraid to move or speak. im slowly letting go. now this is my heart, and im putting it on the line to be seen, felt, heard. im tired of being angry with god about things i had no say in or things i couldnt change. im tired of shutting off all emotion to god. he's placed these things in my life for a reason, and when i have emotions about them i should be going to god with them. i cant rely on my own broken work to fix anything if it even needs to be fixed. it is gods work, his perfect work that takes time and patience...but with my hands. god, yesterday i tried to pray. and all that came out of my mouth was..."please fix it. please fix everything. i dont know what else to say...". and now i know, thats enough for you. you are healer, you are patience. you are the fixer, the maker, everything. you are my father who comforts me in times of trouble even when i push you away. you carry me and hold me. im trying so hard to trust, keep my head above water. im letting go now, and you hold on to me.
2/14/08: dont be afraid of this kali. i have plans to prosper you. i have given you lemons. what are you going to do with them? i have chosen you. i have mounted you up on wings...i have made you a bird. experience pure air kali. pure eyes, pure protection...you are built for flight. the windier it gets, the higher you fly...you are effortless. kali, you cannot win an argument with me... :] i know you too well
2/18/08: "We aren't necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will be." -CS Lewis"
i will not doubt anymore. i love you i love you i love you forever. and this will echo for all eternity.
2/27/08: 1 timothy 4:12 says...
dont let anyone think less of you because you are young. be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. do not neglect the spiritual gift you received through the prophecies spoken to you when the elders of the church laid their hands on you. give your complete attention to these matters. throw yourself into your tasks so that everyone will see your progress. keep a close watch on yourself and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right, and god will save you and those who hear you.
god, this life is my sacrifice to you. this is my echo...
for all that you are
for all eternity
2/28/08: Sanctus Real--after today
After today I'll get me out of this place
Into the world so I can set a new pace
Seems I'm on my own from here
Gotta face so many fears
Won't You lay me in Your hands of grace
I've got a funny feeling that I'm gonna go away
Gonna face my future, gonna try to make the grade
I've got a ways to go from here and
Vision doesn't seem so clear but
Praise God He's got a plan and
Understanding isn't my place
After today I'm gonna come face to face
With a new world who knows I'm feeling this way
I've got a ways to go from here
I'm gonna overcome these fears but
Still I'm gonna need Your hands of grace
I'll be a bigger man for, a bigger man for today.
I'll pray a bigger prayer...
I'll dream a bigger dream...
4/2/08: "When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely
opening your hands to receive something better.
'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you." -my little sister
5/6/08: we reap what we sow. "but those who live to please the spirit will harvest everlasting life from the spirit. so dont get tired of doing what is good. dont get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. whenever we have the opportunity we should do good to everyone, especially to our christian brothers and sisters." -Galatians 6:8-11
5/7/08: im gonna jump. right into his arms. trust: when the fear of being dropped doesnt keep you from jumping
5/11/08: cause what i feel inside
i dont want to hide
it's you that got to me
its what i want to sing
cause i've got a dream for us
running through my mind
sitting on the beach
looking at the sea
and we're old and tired
and time has made us smile
as we go on counting things
people in the breeze
we're not the only ones
there's hundreds on the shore
looking at the sea
but it's just you and me
if the day never comes
i sink beneath the tide
will you still be with me
or disappear?
[a dream for us - the appleseed cast]
5/12/08: i dont want just anyone. just someone.i want THE one. the only one. im tired of seeing them hurt. and taking the bait again and again...over and over. be our guide, our tutor. our mentor, teacher, father... where do we run next?
5/12/08..: thankyou steven lichtenwalter,
A Song For Christine:
I resisted coming here, to open the harbors that guard my heart (Jeremiah 23:24). Abide with me, fast falls the even tide. This darkness deepens, Lord with me abide. And what does not flow freely from You? Am I convicted of what I say? Forgive me of this pride that knows Your redemption yet shamelessly walks away. And now my life ebbs away. Night pierces my bones, and these gnawing pains never rest. And how I long for that day (when I will return to ashes and dust)(Job 30:17-19). If my steps turn from the path, or if my heart has been led by my eyes, or if my hands have been defiled, then may others reap what I have sown (Job 31:7-8). Better that I dwell in the house of the Lord who upholds all those who fall than reap this harvest of a life waged in the flesh. And what do I gain but the exchange of the truth for a lie? And a heart conditioned not to feel, callused by the nature of my pride? And now my life ebbs away
5/18/08: i dont wanna fall away from you.
i need you more than anything, ever. its you that picks me up when i've fallen down. you dare me to dream again. you capture me in your heart, and in your love...you taught me to love again. you taught me what its like to be captivated in love and you brought me out of the dark.
i cannot do this alone....
6/5/08: this week has been tough. i've been strangling myself sick with anger. im starting to learn what it feels like to lead with my heart and not my mind. for so long i have been to afraid to move or speak. im slowly letting go. now this is my heart, and im putting it on the line to be seen, felt, heard. im tired of being angry with god about things i had no say in or things i couldnt change. im tired of shutting off all emotion to god. he's placed these things in my life for a reason, and when i have emotions about them i should be going to god with them. i cant rely on my own broken work to fix anything if it even needs to be fixed. it is gods work, his perfect work that takes time and patience...but with my hands. god, yesterday i tried to pray. and all that came out of my mouth was..."please fix it. please fix everything. i dont know what else to say...". and now i know, thats enough for you. you are healer, you are patience. you are the fixer, the maker, everything. you are my father who comforts me in times of trouble even when i push you away. you carry me and hold me. im trying so hard to trust, keep my head above water. im letting go now, and you hold on to me.
chris peterson...
1/27/08: thanks chris.
-God knows everything about you. Adam hid behind the bush in the garden but God let him hide. God knows everything about you and he longs to be with you NONETHELESS. You are not hiding anything from God. God’s love for you and the way he LIKES you and FORGIVES you INCLUDE the knowledge of all your PAST SINS and PRESTENT and probably FUTURE.
-God’s love is UNCONDITIONAL (Meaning a kind of no strings attached it wont go away so get used to it type). You CANNOT do ANYTHING to cause CHRIST to stop loving you.
Rom 8:38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, NOR ANYTHING ELSE IN ALL CREATION, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
1 John 4:8- …God is Love
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (After swapping every word with word God will always be
(God=Love(Unconditional))
4 God will always be patient, God will always be kind. God will never envy, God will never boast, God is never proud. 5 God is never rude, God is never self-seeking, God is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs. (He forgives anyone who asks) 6 God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 God always protects (always), always trusts (always), always hopes (always), always perseveres. (always.)
Now to be sure we need to RECIEVE God's love in order for it to effect us. Will God keep no record of my wrongs? Yes if you RECIEVE his love. Will he always protect me? Yes if you RECIEVE him (To protect you from pain and discomfort would be to leave the world though :))
Anyways I know how easy it is for me to doubt these things and all and I know I'm probably not alone.
John tres: diez y seis: For God so loved the world (no exceptions) that he sent his only begotten son, that whoever (NO EXCEPTIONS) believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life.
Always= Never a time where this isn't true. NEVER.
-God knows everything about you. Adam hid behind the bush in the garden but God let him hide. God knows everything about you and he longs to be with you NONETHELESS. You are not hiding anything from God. God’s love for you and the way he LIKES you and FORGIVES you INCLUDE the knowledge of all your PAST SINS and PRESTENT and probably FUTURE.
-God’s love is UNCONDITIONAL (Meaning a kind of no strings attached it wont go away so get used to it type). You CANNOT do ANYTHING to cause CHRIST to stop loving you.
Rom 8:38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, NOR ANYTHING ELSE IN ALL CREATION, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
1 John 4:8- …God is Love
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (After swapping every word with word God will always be
(God=Love(Unconditional))
4 God will always be patient, God will always be kind. God will never envy, God will never boast, God is never proud. 5 God is never rude, God is never self-seeking, God is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs. (He forgives anyone who asks) 6 God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 God always protects (always), always trusts (always), always hopes (always), always perseveres. (always.)
Now to be sure we need to RECIEVE God's love in order for it to effect us. Will God keep no record of my wrongs? Yes if you RECIEVE his love. Will he always protect me? Yes if you RECIEVE him (To protect you from pain and discomfort would be to leave the world though :))
Anyways I know how easy it is for me to doubt these things and all and I know I'm probably not alone.
John tres: diez y seis: For God so loved the world (no exceptions) that he sent his only begotten son, that whoever (NO EXCEPTIONS) believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life.
Always= Never a time where this isn't true. NEVER.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)